An Extended family or Multi-family vacation need not be a trip to hell
When Devra was growing up, her mother purchased a framed print to hang on the wall of their home which states in lovely swirling calligraphy “God gives you family. Thank God you can choose your friends.” Most of us have family stories which make us, or others, laugh, cry or just shake our heads in collective amazement. Sometimes the stories are about our own family, but we also know about THOSE families. You know the ones who do things yours would never do. The ones who wear clothing yours never wear. The ones who say things yours would never say . And then what happens? You unknowingly plan a vacation with one of “those families” because you have no idea you’re acquainted with “people like that” before you make your plane reservations and hotel accommodations.
Ah well, you all know each other well enough that slight differences won't matter. Or perhaps you figure if everyone has their own living space, it will all work out fine. After all, it’s only a week, and you may have known these people a lifetime. So what’s to worry about? We’re going to tell you, PLENTY. Let it be known you will find out some things about each other on vacation that may have been helpful to have known about before you even left home.
So before you set sail to a land far far away , here are some topics you may want to discuss with your friends, parents or siblings. If you don’t, you may find yourself being scolded for fighting with your sister in front of your own kids or finding out your friendship can’t withstand the test of a few days out of town together:
1. Day and night. Who amongst you prefers dancing 'til dawn and who rolls up the carpet and goes back to the room when the clock strikes 9:00PM. Who knew your big brother who was constantly falling asleep in front of the television set as a kid turned into the guy who doesn’t go to sleep before 2 AM?
2. Kids programs. Who will be using the clubs? How often? Daily? Hourly? What happens if some of the kids like it and others don't? What if one hates it and everyone else likes it? Your mother gives you a hassle about using daycare at home, who needs her
giving you “that look” when her grandbabies are spending some time at the Mini Club.
3. Any special instructions you have that are specific to your kids and family. I.e. swimming ability, food allergies, napping, etc. Sure you might know your friends plan around naptime, but getting caught off guard because you thought they would skip naps on vacation can be avoided if you know ahead of time they are going to be Keepers of The Nap.
4. If you will have teens in tow, get on the same page about who does what when. I.e. Will everyone have the same curfew on vacation regardless of what it might be at home? You probably had enough peer pressure as a teen, no need to deal with it as an adult if your friends parent differently than you. Discuss how to be a united front with the kids because they will divide and conquer if they see an opportunity to do so. Teens are incredible people, but also manipulative as hell at times. You know, you were a teen!
5. Any special budget considerations. This of course can be tricky. We're not talking about giving one another full IRS disclosure, but a pre-emptive talk about whether extra excursions or meals away from the resort are a budget breaker or not could avoid awkward conversations while everyone is pool side.
6. How much togetherness are you talking about? Do you want rooms next to each other, across from each other, in different buildings on the property? While you may consider yourself to be a close family or have a close friendship, it’s still a good idea to make sure the feelings are mutual regarding the living space on vacation.
No one wants to get to day three of their happily anticipated vacation only to find themselves with phone in hand calling the resort next door to check on room availability. If you at least touch on a few of these topics long before your plane touches down, you may avoid some otherwise touchy situations.
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